In truth, how often do scary things that’s been tied in place actually break loose from their hobbles and fly after a horse?
In truth, that’s a bad question. I got examples, such as the flyin flappy people-umbrella that broke loose and once chased a prancey horse clean out of the prancin arena. And the flappy hay tarp that once broke loose on a windy day and flew at a horse like a giant blue horse-eatin vulture tryin to land on his head and eat his horse-brains. We horses have all heard the legend of that one. And likely every horse knows at least one other horse that’s narrowly survived such an encounter with a runaway people-contraption. But still. Do ya actually know any horse that’s been eaten alive and then killed dead by such a thing? Likely not. So yor bettin odds generally seem like 50/50, which ain’t half bad, all around.
Bettin is big on the County Island ‘round about every cold time for what’s called the super feed bowl day. The super feed bowl’s an event that’s peculiar to the County Island. Also, it ain’t got nothin to do with feedin us good horses at all. It’s mostly people feedin themselves and whoopin and hollerin inside their people-barns so loud ya can hear it clear across the County Island, which is barren of people, ‘cause they’re all inside their barns shoutin, and thusly real peaceful for horses in spite of our obvious hunger and lack of extra feed bowls, super or not. In fact we generally suffer from entire food neglect until the event time’s half over. Coors and Coors Light call it the stupid bowl, and I don’t dislike that.
The people whoop and holler to cheer on critters no horse can see for himself, such as cardinals or falcons or bears or broncos or patriots, whatever patriots is. Every person picks their favorite critter, even dumb ones like patriots. And then they bet each other who’s gonna win … whatever they win. More feed, I guess.
The other pointless part of the super feed bowl involves hobblin what’s called balloons (known to some horses as shiny, round flyin monsters) and flags and festive streamers (known to those same horses as shiny, flat flyin monsters) and other such shiny and pointless crap to trees and fence lines, which is where my hobble talk comes in. Maybe this year I noticed all the super feed bowl nonsense more. Maybe in my old, wise age I’m payin the wrong kind of attention to County Island foolishness. Maybe this year, they festooned the entire trail-path I got to walk on to get down the road and hung their monsters in front of us horses’s noses.
Most County Island horses ain’t got no sense of what it means to be hobbled.
When you’re hobbled ya don’t have to worry about where to go or what to do. You just stay where you are, not workin, and don’t worry. Ya learn to stay tied, and ya learn not to panic if somethin funny touches your feet such as a rope, or a snake. I reckon it’s the same if youre a hobbled dog or a hobbled flyin-balloon. Remind me to tell everybody about my horse-buddy Original Coors and the snake sometime. I can understand some horses not trustin County Island folks to hobble stuff correctly. I don’t see it done much around here to horses or other things. Dogs that get hobbled often break loose and run. You see missin dog signs all over the County Island. But escaped rogue horse-chasin dogs and legends of tarp-vultures aside, and also flyin-balloons, bein hobbled’s entirely safe and trustworthy.
I can understand stoppin to have a good look at a hobbled thing. I did that myself this year when it looked like some super feed bowl festoonery done throwed up all over and hobbled itself to damn near everythin on one li’l nearby ranch. But if it’s your own ranch that’s festooned, ya ought not to behave like the horse whose festooned ranch it was. He never got over it.
Some horses is surprised by the same things day after day. Every day is a new day, but for them it’s always a bad day. Don’t be like them. Even if the shiny flappin super feed bowl balloon that was ground-tied to the ground in front of the gate picks itself up with a big wind and makes a move toward wrapping its bright shiny silver self around ya. It likely won’t do that at all.
The point is, don’t be scared of spooky people-things that’s hobbled, ‘cause they probably won’t kill ya even if they do try. Don’t go lookin for trouble such as hobbled stuff to break lose and hurt ya every day. My own track record for surviving such things so far is 100 percent. Thus you can safely say ya know of at least one horse that ain’t never been harmed nor killed dead by one of ‘em.
I try to be a comfort to other horses when I can be.